Many people find end-of-life planning uncomfortable to discuss. However, engaging in these conversations is crucial for ensuring that one’s wishes are respected and that loved ones are spared from unnecessary stress during a challenging time. Let’s explore why discussing end-of-life matters is so important and how it can benefit everyone involved.
First of all, death is not the boogeyman, nor does talking about death make it happen sooner. We have been dying for thousands of years, and every one of us is 100% going to do it. Our bodies are programmed to decline. Having a healthy conversation about death can reorient our perspective and focus on what’s important in life. It can remind us that life is temporary and that relationships, love, and meaningful experiences are more important than material possessions. When a baby is born, we make elaborate plans down to the very last detail, so why don’t we do that before death comes? Everyone should have a good death, free from confusion and chaos, but we can’t get there unless we, as a society, stop whispering about it and start talking about it.
One of the primary reasons to discuss end-of-life matters is to ensure that your preferences are known and respected. Without clear directives, family members may face difficult decisions during an emotional time. These choices can lead to disagreements and added stress, as loved ones try to determine what you would have wanted. The first step in determining your final wishes is defining what quality of life means to you. What does a good day look like to you? (time with family, favorite activities). What or who supports you during difficult times? (faith, culture, family, friends, pets). Finish this sentence for yourself: What matters to me at the end of my life is______________.
This is your quality of life statement. When you have identified this, you will be better equipped to formulate a plan for your end-of-life wishes.
The five regrets of the dying are:
· I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
· I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
· I wish I had the courage to express my feelings
· I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
· I wish I had let myself be happier