The Last Thing to go is The Sense of Hearing

What is it like to die? I want to talk about it because our culture has medicalized death to the point where we just don’t get to experience it like we did in the past. In the past, it was considered a normal part of living, and handling it was passed on from generation to generation. Now, our loved ones are dying in hospitals or nursing homes, and we are often removed from the process, which makes it so scary for people. I want to normalize it again, so here’s what it looks like.

It doesn’t matter what terminal diagnosis you’ve been given or if you are just dying of old age. The process is all the same. In the beginning, there are subtle changes. By the way, we have been dying for thousands of years, and the body has a built-in mechanism to allow transition from the physical body. At first, a person might begin to eat and drink less. This is because as the body starts to die, it no longer needs nourishment from food. This can disturb family members because we equate food with life and comfort. As food and fluids are rejected, the body becomes weaker and is at a high risk for falling and injury. You can prepare for this by having a hospital bed and other things like a bedside commode and always having someone present at all times, as safety is always non-negotiable!

You may notice your loved one sleeping more frequently or that they don’t feel like talking as much, and they become very introspective. They naturally withdraw from things they used to enjoy. They may lose their sense of time. Breathing and heart rate change, and body temperature fluctuates.

It is common for the dying to experience near-death awareness, which means they may see or hear loved ones or pets that have passed previously. Although there is no explanation for this, I have witnessed this a lot. Family members think the person is confused, perhaps from side effects from medication, but I have seen this with people who are not taking drugs.

Some people may experience restlessness or a sudden burst of energy where they come out of a deep sleep and are completely lucid, even asking to eat. At some point, people go into a permanent deep sleep. Breathing patterns alternate, sometimes with long pauses until it stops completely.

The last thing to go is the sense of hearing. That’s why it’s important to keep talking to your loved one. Tell them how much you love them and what they contributed to your life. If there’s anything left unsaid, or you need forgiveness or need to forgive them, now is the time. LET THEM KNOW YOU WILL BE OK. Gently hold their hand or stroke their forehead. This reassures them that they are not alone.